Money is a fickle subject. I have wanted to write about it for a while, but the topic took me some time to deconstruct. The subject of money shape shifts according to the day's outlook or temperament. But I think I am ready to approach it with a bit more clarity. About 6 months ago, I finally joined the workforce (thank God!). When all my other peers have 3 to 4 years of salaries under their belts, here I was trying to navigate the world of financial independence.
A and I have been living off his single salary for the entirety of our married lives up until very recently. And because of the semi-robust system I have designed to track of expenditures, we were living quite comfortably, Alhamdulillah, even with a little pot of savings to spare. But now, with a second salary finally in the mix, we are able to breathe a little bit easier. There is more room to manoeuvre. And if something were to happen, we would have a bigger cushion to fall back on. Back when it was only A who was working, I can become very anxious when we spend too much, for instance on holidays or eating out.
I would say, "We are spending way too much, we should save more."
"But I'm not a student anymore - I can afford it, don't worry."
"But I still am. Maybe we should just eat at home."
Having too small a pot of savings has long been a fear of mine. And now that I am too earning, we can park that source of worry aside temporarily. However, earning, I have discovered, does come with its own unique tribulations. You see, when I was a student, I was disciplined in spending like one. Opting for low cost options in the supermarket, eating out in affordable restaurants and shopping maybe once or twice a month. But now that money somewhat magically appears in my account at the end of every month, the voices that are convincing me to spend has noticeably become louder.
Innocently browsing for things on Oxford Street or online, there would now be a more aggressive temptation to buy things just because I can afford it. "Why not? It is only xx pounds. You can totally afford it. Just buy it, you have worked so hard." The thing is, most of the time, I don't really need that specific item or even want it. The voice just feeds into my impulsive tendencies. Thus, with this, another fear had replaced the previous - the fear of making my lifestyle more expensive with increasing income.
Watching a YouTube video the other day about daily finances, I discovered that there is actually a term coined for this - it is called lifestyle inflation. It is very normal to spend on more expensive things when one is more able, even without the intent to do so. And once a person steps up on the ladder of increasingly expensive lifestyles, it is very hard to take one step down from where you end up. For example, when one is so used to flying business class, would one be comfortable suddenly stepping down to economy? Or if one is accustomed to taking an uber everywhere, taking the tube might suddenly become an inconvenience. A person's perception alters with money. And once it does, it is a slippery slope towards financial extravagance.
Thankfully, we are somewhat protected from peer pressure when living abroad. Peers our age at home are purchasing designer goods, cars and houses. Sometimes with huge monthly payments that eat up more than half of their salaries. In contrast, my peers here in hospital are mostly in scrubs and no one decks out in designer items unless you are willing to take the risk of puke/blood or both tarnishing its good make. Yes, people own cars here but they are mostly old and second hand. And because of the sky high prices of real estate, people don't take mortgages until they have a full proof plan (or big enough income) to pay it off.
For now, I am just trying (and sometimes failing) to be smart about money. We have an excel sheet updated every month to see where our money ends up. And we understand that the smartest thing to do in our child-free 20s is to save and invest. And not to commit to buying things that we can't afford. I am still attempting to keep my spendings student-like with the occasional mini-spend treats. But at the end of the day, it is about finding the right balance between being stingy and being a spend-thrift.
A and I are still navigating these murky waters, slowly and cautiously, with our eyes wide open for potential shark attacks. Wish us luck!
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