068: A stranger's story

It is strange when a person you met a few minutes ago suddenly opens up to you about very personal stories. This happened to me today.

I was waiting in the dermatology clinic for an appointment. The doctor popped out for a minute to get advise from a senior on what to do with this mole I have on my right eyebrow. Sitting across from me is a middle aged health care assistant. After few attempts avoiding eye contact (because I am so awkward with conversation starters), she thankfully asked me where I was from.

"Malaysia," I said. "Quite far away from here."

Her tanned skin and her accent told me that she wasn't a local either. And when asked, she told me she was also from the same region of the world - albeit 9 hours away, rather than my 13. I haven't heard of her country before but I was too shy to ask where it was. I didn't want to seem ignorant.

We talked some more, and somehow rather she suddenly told me that her daughter had passed away 2 years ago.

Quite taken aback, I replied as my medical training taught me with, "I'm so sorry to hear that." She shook her head indicating there was no need for pity. She continued, "There were no symptoms. Although the scientists had said that she is the second in the world to have this disease. The third was just documented this year, a few months ago. A person of the same age too. She was 13 when she passed."

And just then, the doctor came back in - cheery and joyful. The change of atmosphere in the small consulting room was like earth and sky.

After the consultation, I thanked them both and headed out. As I was queuing to book another appointment, the lady tapped me on the shoulder to hand me a document the doctor forgot to give me. I looked at her, squeezed her arm and said, "Thank you." Although within me, I wanted to transfer whatever strength I have to her through that brief contact - because I can't even begin to imagine how painful it must be to lose a child.

Maybe it is easier to talk to strangers about things that are difficult to express. They don't know you, thus there are no judgements or expectations. The act of unburdening can be itself therapeutic. And it is highly unlikely that you and the stranger will ever cross paths again - so if it is awkward, it will only last a few minutes. However, does this act require trust? Maybe. Maybe, the lady saw in me someone that she can entrust her secret stories with.

Realising this, I feel responsible to do something about it. And therefore, I do only what I able to - I turn to prayer to ask Allah swt to grant her great strength and patience as she goes through this difficult trial. For He never bestows anything upon a person, which he/she is not able to bear.