219: 26.12 (Almost) The end

I have missed you, writing.

It has been a hectic few months - I have momentarily closed a chapter on paediatrics and moved back into adult medicine (hopefully, not for too long)! Paediatrics was challenging to say the least. Brutal and unforgiving, yet at the same time, exciting and thoroughly rewarding. I don’t think I have grown so quickly as a young doctor as I have on my paediatrics placement - and I have my colleagues to thank you for that.

I do miss working with young children. Cardiology has made me realised that as much as I would like to fight it, I am through and through, a very enthusiastic and budding young paediatric-trainee to be. At the end of this week, we will be told whether we have been successful in getting to the next stage of applications - I have been nervously fidgeting every time my phone beeps in my pocket. I wish it was already the end of February when the results are out and my future is less blurry. But alas, I will have uncertainty and patience as my loyal companions for now.

Since my last entries, many things have happened. I have finally gotten my driving license (yay!) - the drama behind that has to be memoralised in writing at some point. A has almost completed his software engineering bootcamp at Flatiron, Alhamdulillah. My sister has left for homeland for good, so it has only been A and I in the flat. My younger siblings emerged from their respective examinations triumphant gifting my dear parents the ability to give a big sigh of relief. The youngest of our clan will start high school next week - breaking my heart slowly as the realisation of her pending teenagehood sinks in.

I also turned 27 last month, Alhamdulillah. The quick approach towards my thirties begs the question, “What have I done with my life so far?” Others my age have propagated young-uns and climbed many rungs up the corporate ladder. They have bought cars and houses. Some have built businesses and some have built empires digitally through a loyal legion of social media followers. Then there is me, barely 1.5 years into a career - clumsily trying to navigate realms of adulthood. But despite my slow start, I am thankful - for a home I love, for a family whom I adore, for the opportunity to build a career in London and for the freedom of choice as well as for the luxury of feeling safe. I have to somewhat accept that I will always be impatient - to get ahead quickly and to catch up. But for now, I just want to stop and breathe.

What is meant for me will never miss me. I am ready for you 2019!