066: A cupful of principles

After 23 years of life, I cringe thinking of things I held dear when I was an angsty teenager. Things like social status, recognition, beauty and fame. All skin deep, not even scratching the surface of one's potential.

Since then, I have experienced and I have learned. And although these might change in the next 5 to 10 years, it is nice to look back at a list of principles you held at one point in your life. So here is my current list.

1. Experiences > Material Goods

I have (thankfully) yet to be bitten by the luxury handbag bug. And I pray that it will be ages till I succumb. However, living in London and in a tiny flat or room brings with it great life lessons. Currently, my husband and I live in a tiny studio - 2 steps brings you into our kitchen from our bedroom, and another 2 steps brings you to our toilet. It is cosy and it is our first home - and we love it! Being a studio, there isn't much storage space - therefore we are nit-picky on things we keep or purchase. We don't feel limited by the lack of possessions. On the contrary, we feel absolutely liberated!

With less time focused on material things, we have more time and energy to devote to new experiences instead. For instance, for each other's birthday, instead of exchanging gifts, we bought one another a weekend getaway. Basically, what I have learnt is that things come and go, but memories last a lifetime.

2. Nothing is earned

This lesson in particular was a curveball. When I was a teenager, I worked hard thus I felt the world owed me things. For instance, it crushed me when my dream of going to Cambridge didn't pan out. "Why didn't I get in? I deserved that spot." Successes were well deserved and failures were incomprehensible. Boy, was I wrong. My mama told me one day after my ego-driven self chatted about how much I worked hard on my exams and how I deserved the top 3 placing in my year; she said, "You can never deserve anything. God does not owe you anything. Everything you have is a gift."

That stunned me. And from that moment on, I did not equate hard work with the right to demand anything. Nor should I take this opportunity to be complacent. Islam teaches me to work hard and then hope for the best. And if success comes my way, I did not earn it - instead, Allah bestowed His Mercy upon me and chose me to be the receiver of His gift. Definitely a way to dampen down that ego!

3. If you want to do bad, imagine everyone is watching you do it

This is very effective in instances when it is so easy to do bad things however small. For instance, would you throw that plastic wrapper on the ground if you knew a 100 eyes are witnessing you do it? I hope not. Or even subtler - would you download illegal movies on your laptop if there were 2 policemen behind your back as you press download?

Although I am far from perfect, this nifty principle helps me keep myself in check. In Islam, we are taught that we are always being watched and our deeds recorded. Many times, we forget this reality, so imagining physical people around you witnessing your bad deeds helps audit out the bad in your life.



I have other principals but I didn't realise how long this post was going to be. Maybe I'll continue my rant next time!