216: 8.10 Uncertainty

Hello again, long time no see.

Life has been a whirlwind since coming back from our travels last summer. I have started FY2 in paediatrics and between squeezing in sleep between the weekend and night shifts, and adapting to new responsibilities as not the most junior member in the team, the last 2 months have flown by. Truth be told, I am enjoying my paediatrics placement - everyone here is lovely. Despite the long hours and fragile, young patients, everyone on the team is approachable and supportive. A far cry from what was experienced previously when I worked in adult medicine.

I guess the speciality attracts lovely, genuinely caring people. One does not choose paediatrics if one hates children - but in contrast, some people might fall into adult medicine even if they dislike it. 2 days ago, I ventured into Cambridge on the very few Saturdays I have off to attend a Paediatrics Open Day. As applications for speciality training loom even closer (this time next month, inshaAllah!), it was a very opportune time to get some tips from those who have gone through it. There were the mega experienced consultants, deans of the deanery and registrars present. And on the other end of the spectrum, there were even some senior house officers who had just started their paediatric career.

One thing that was inspiring to watch is how much they enjoyed their job. They mentioned over and over again how they felt so honoured to be taking care of sick children and how they felt grateful to the parents whom they have worked with who opened their lives and families to them. I did feel like I was amongst kindred spirits. And needless to say, I am definitely applying for paediatrics next month.

I feel that 2019 is a year of much uncertainty. I will be (hopefully) applying for and starting a new job in a new hospital, A is in the midst of an immersive coding bootcamp to reroute his entire career path. We might or might not be moving houses, and I might or might not be successful in acquiring yet another driving license (and maybe a car?). I will be also doing some of my professional exams early next year which is terrifying! My brain has left school for so long that it has forgotten how to study. And if rezki permits, we also plan to complete our Hajj next year as well, inshaAllah.

So, lots to do and sort out. The word adulting does come to mind every time I have to sit down and do something remotely serious - such as today, I have spent an hour on the phone talking to multiple people to sort out my study budget claims. Next on my list are tax refunds! Yippee!

But through all this chaos and uncertainty, I am grateful and rest assured that everything will happen as it should be - as He intends it to be. Even if I find myself flailing aimlessly in a vast body of ocean, I trust that He will direct the waves to lead me to shore, inshaAllah.