194: 6.4 Roots

Escapism;

the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities.

This is what it feels like when naming both countries, UK and Malaysia, as both (and sometimes, neither) as home. It is framed in the sense of longing to be somewhere else afforded by having multiple places that one associates with home. For instance, I am looking forward to the day when I do not have to endure KL traffic and KL drivers everyday. But when in London, I look forward to the day I return to my childhood home, cocooned by the comforts of family, food and friends. I dislike the unpredictability of London weather (especially snow) as much as I dislike that in KL, I can only spend time with people in some sort of mall (where are all the trees?!). 

I love the accessibility to delicious food when in KL whilst at the same time, I miss feeling less sluggish and more energised, like when I am in London. I treasure how ordinary and plain my lifestyle is in London - being forced to be economical in spending. But I do also enjoy being a complete spendthrift by living a little bit more luxuriously during my short visits back to my hometown. I love being around my family but I also do sometimes yearn for my extra space to be independent. 

Somehow, there are blessings to not planting roots to one piece of ground. Maybe sowing seeds in multiple farms is the way forward for now.