196: 8.4 Family reunions

We hosted a family reunion yesterday in celebration of my brother's epic high school examinations results. It was a true family affair with my dad roasting the lamb on the grill whilst my brother, A and I were busy in the kitchen cooking up nasi lemak to feed 60+ guests. We were preparing for the feast two nights in advance with my brother and I chopping onions, slowly sweating them in the pan up till tweaking the taste of the sambal the morning of. It was a nice opportunity to also bond with my brother. In a blink of an eye, this once little boy has grown up to be a hippy version of a gentleman. And as he has until recently been away in boarding school most of the time I have been back home, we never got the chance to talk until now. Talking about school, relationships, growing pains and work - it felt really nice.

The day of the kenduri, we woke up early to tie up loose ends. I woke up with a throbbing headache that morning, so I was mostly half asleep whilst chopping up cucumber and halving eggs. Thankfully, most things were ready an hour before guests were anticipated to arrive - so I squeezed in a much needed power nap. When the clock hit noon, the firsts guests arrived followed by a steady wave of many others throughout the day until just before sun down. We feasted, we laughed and I managed to catch up with many of my family and friends whom I haven't seen in a while.

Since the last kenduri I attended, the family has expanded. There were babies that I have not met before, and the babies that I did meet last year have now grown into confidently walking and talking toddlers. There were so many of us at one point, that I just had to sit down in a corner to slowly take it all in. "I haven't been in a family gathering in a while. This is overwhelming," I confessed to my cousin. In London, we were blessed to host about 20 people at most in our little flat during Eid, but this must be at least 4-5 times that. The number of beings in the house coupled with the responsibility of being a hostess was definitely a shock to my senses. But after a quick breather, I soon overcame it all and persevered.

Although family reunions involve huge amounts of planning, preparation and patience, it is always to gather everyone together under one roof. This - amongst many other reasons - is one reason why (for now at least) I would not want to retire in UK. It is this sense of family and community what I miss the most. When abroad, it is very easy to have an isolated life. One where someone is devoid of true community. One where someone can exist without truly living. It is almost impossible to be that way in Malaysia. There is always someone's open house or wedding or aqiqah or doa selamat or house warming. One must have a calendar just to keep up with social events alone. However, with that, family members can also be too involved in one's life so much so it is hard to grow independently, or to do something without everyone else and their neighbours knowing about it. But I guess it is a small price to pay for being somewhere where everyone not only knows your name but also cares for you and your family like their own.

Because in the end of the day, they are all you have. God, your family and your friends who might as well be.